Today's tale is in response to the exercise set for last Friday's Pudsey Writers group and which I presented there. I was trying to write a piece from a very tight perspective - from inside a locker - and tell the entire story through it. I think I was trying to be too clever, because not all of them got it.
The Inside World of
Locker Number Seven
Any traveller through the bus station at Leeds can put a few
coins in a slot and hire a locker to store their baggage in while exploring the
city.
At just after 8am one Tuesday morning, the drop of coins
triggers the activation of Locker No. Seven.
Its door opens with a squeak and the person operating it places a
package inside. It does not look heavy, or valuable, wrapped in brown paper and
fastened with tape, but it does appear bulky, nearly, but not quite square, and
something about the way it settles into place suggests one end to be significantly
lighter than the other.
The locker door closes with another squeak, and the interior
falls into darkness.
But not silence, although it was impossible, at the moment,
to hear what the sound might be.
Outside, the echoing buzz of people passing by, swapping
buses on their way to work, pausing to answer their phones. The rumble of buses pulling in and pulling
out, the occasional announcement.
At just after 10am, the worst of the morning rush hour is
over. The voices outside are fewer now,
the noises less frenetic.
Inside the locker, the sound continues, still too soft to
distinguish, still blending into the outside noise.
11am, and someone just in by National Express puts coins in
Locker Number Nine, opening the door and shoving a large rucksack inside. It is
almost too large, so the owner pushes and curses and finally gets the door to
close, shaking up the adjacent lockers and causing the contents of Locker
Number Seven to shift slightly. When the
dust settles, and there is a lull in the passing of people outside, the sound
made by the contents of locker number seven, due to the slight alteration of its
position in the locker, is from now on occasionally audible.
Tick
Just after noon, and there is a surge in activity outside as
the lunchtime foot traffic begins. People head for the café, for the cash
machines, for the toilets. Morning shoppers head home, bus drivers change shifts, and so it is some
time before the outside world is quiet enough to hear the inside world of
Locker Number Seven; in fact, several hours pass by before the interior of the
locker is disturbed by the sound again.
Tick tick tick…
4.15. The bus station is beginning to get busy once more;
school children and commuters on their homeward journeys. The hubbub echoes. Suddenly, there’s added uproar outside, a
different level of sound. A different
feel to the noise. Voices, announcements, an alarm of some kind… a fire alarm? No, not that; if anything, this warning has
more urgency.
The voices crescendo over the implacable tones of the
announcements, shouts intervene, perhaps someone screams. Someone cries.
And then sirens, engines, motors. Doors slamming as the nearby toilets are
checked. Within moments, everything outside is quiet. Silent. Inside Locker Number Seven…
Tick tick tick.
5.15. The crackle of radios, of voiced commands. A new sound, a dog whining, barking; a big
dog, from the tone and timbre of its bark.
It must have stopped very near to Locker Seven, for even its panting
breath is audible.
But it doesn’t last long; soon, the sound of the dog
retreats and silence falls again outside the locker.
Inside: Tick tick tick…
5.40. A whining noise outside now, pausing and changing
frequently, as if something is repositioning itself. Then a clatter and a clang
as something strikes the metal outer of the locker. Strange noises, then, the
override on the locks and the door clicks free…
Tick tick…
The whine is louder now as the door opens. A mechanical
remote-control arm swings into view. It makes delicate twists and turns, and
the whine is revealed to be the noise of hydraulics repositioning the robotic
arm. It places a small object down
inside the locker and then retracts, folding itself down and trundling back
away from the lockers.
A signal is sent, picked up as a series of beeps by the
object deposited by the robot…
Tick tick tick tick
Ticktick
Bang.
Not sure what's not to get Gill. Reminds me of the time I came back from Uni on the coach and the driver took my bag off in Leeds, whilst I stayed on to my destination. Upon arrival, he complimented me on travelling light and I was a little taken aback as I had at least one bag in the hold. Not anymore, he'd taken it off in Leeds. We had visions of lots of washing fluttering in the wind, as the bag was blown up. Thankfully by the time we got back to Leeds, the bag was sitting there in the rain. Christmas didn't need to be cancelled!!!!
ReplyDeleteI thought "The Inside World of Locker Number Seven" had quite a few of the elements to move this short story's plot at a very good pace, which you brought to a very explosive end. I liked and enjoyed the story. But then I had a look at your blog and in response to what you mention there - the blurb - I'm wondering if you really told the reader enough about what happens INSIDE locker no. 7? You wrote about the OUTSIDE and certainly managed to build up a lot of tension and expectation, thinking about the unknown. Somehow, I would like to know more about what was happening inside the locker, some description, explanation or even origen. Could the parcel perhaps 'speak' to us? As you know, this is just an observation, but I liked your story. Thanks for sharing. :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Maretha; it's good of you to comment and I will take your thoughts on board.
ReplyDelete